Why are they behaving like that?
Do you sometimes wonder why others are so angry?
Or you might be wondering why people are so nasty?
Perhaps you are annoyed that some people are so stingy?
Now and then, judgements of others appear within us. We lose our balance and become upset, annoyed or disappointed. In these moments we are not in contact with our well-being and our joy of life. It is a sign that one or more needs in ourselves are not being met.
Being not aware
Sometimes we project traits that we do not want to acknowledge in ourselves onto others. For example, we may have grown up in a family where it was not okay to show anger. During our lifetime we have managed to suppress our anger from our conscious self-image. We never feel angry. We may even proudly tell other people that we are good at controlling ourselves and that we never get upset. We may look down on others who get angry and think that they have poor self-control. We are not aware that others may view us as passive aggressive. We may make sour comments about others or we may never forget an injustice.
We all carry traits that we are unaware of and that we act out. We say one thing and do another. Luckily, we can choose to work with our unconscious sides. Discovering and integrating previously hidden parts makes us more congruent. If we can acknowledge that we have sides that we are not so proud of, we can consciously work on them. We can accept that we are not perfect. We can choose to act in a different way than in the past. We become less confusing both in front of ourselves and in front of others.
Discover your blind spots
When we work with our hidden sides, we can potentially understand ourselves better. The energy expended to deny our unconscious sides can be released and we can devote more energy into creating more fun and meaningful lives. We do not have to spend as much time condemning others, but can instead become more forgiving and meet others with acceptance.
If you are curious about your hidden sides, I have prepared a simple exercise, which you can do by yourself or with someone else as a role play. You can find it on our free ONLINE PLATFORM HERE.
Certified CNVC Trainer, Sweden
I am communication consultant and a certified CNVC trainer. I work with groups and individuals who wants to be able to communicate better and building sustainable connections in their family, with their friends, at their workplace and in the bigger community. I am offering lectures, workshops, mediation and individual training both for individuals and for organizations. Anything from shorter presentations to several days or weeks of training. Since 2010 I have offered over 100 of lectures and workshops with inspiration of NVC (Nonviolent Communication). I have attended three one year programs organised by Friare Liv (Liv Larsson and Kay Rung): the Year 1, the Year 2 and the Mediation program. I have been assistant trainer on five of Friare Livs one year programs as well as on several of their shorter workshops.