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Integrity – The Needs’ Year (Week 8)
"What are you doing? The finishing line is here!” Kay shouted and gestured which track I should take. I had just covered 40 km on cross-country skis, but instead of crossing the finishing line, I took an extra lap in the stadium. The ski race went three laps and the...
Mutuality – The Needs’ Year (Week 7)
The importance of mutuality "Ha, ha, ha… You will look back at this moment and see the humour in it all." I had just shared something vulnerable and my friend was laughing. It is possible that he was right. Maybe, sometime in the future, I will look at this event with...
To matter – The Needs’ Year (Week 6)
We are in the entry hall in our apartment in Järna, south of Stockholm. My partner is lying on an ambulance stretcher and is supported by our midwife to give birth to our son. In the background are two ambulance drivers waiting. The birth started so fast that we never...
Growth – The Needs’ Year (Week 5)
Bodily awareness I neither remember what kind of exercise, nor what kind of need it was. What I remember is the sudden revelation that I can fulfil my needs not just by what others or I am doing for me - I can also choose to do something for others. By contributing to...
Creativity – The Needs’ Year (Week 4)
Starting this project This blog post and this project – the Needs' Year – is an expression of my own creativity. I've had the idea of the Needs' Year for about six months. Sometimes I am very quick in turning ideas into action, but this time I was preoccupied with...
Rest – The Needs’ Year (Week 3)
Rain and exhaustion "Fucking hell!" I had just got my third flat tyre in less than 24 hours. It was raining and I sought shelter under a pedestrian bridge along the river Schelde just outside Gent, Belgium. I was soaking wet and even though it was not so cold, my...
Community – The Needs’ Year (Week 2)
My life in community "Who in the collective house would you most like to eat?" We were sitting around one of the tables in the dining hall engaged in a conversation. We stuck to the adult community members and most of us chose one of the young women from our house. To...
Acceptance – The Needs’ Year (Week 1)
It started with goosebumps on the forearms. Soon the whole arms began to tremble and the trembling eventually turned into shaking and spread to the shoulders and the upper body. It lasted for about 20 minutes and then began to subside. In the end, it was just like an...
Introduction to needs
Intro In this blog post, I will mainly reflect on needs from the perspective of us humans. My thoughts about needs are based on my understanding of what Marshall B. Rosenberg - the founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) - has written about needs. I have also...
How to change a habitual way of communicating?
As you are reading this article, I guess that you want to, just like me, develop your ability to listen to others, to cooperate, to express what is important to you - simply to create connection with people. Almost no matter what we are interested in in life, there...
Beginner’s mind
Beginner’s mind The power of not knowing all So many times I attended workshops where I had some prior knowledge, with the attitude: “I doubt that I can learn anything new!”. So many times I dismissed the arguments of political opponents before I even heard them! And...
Our biased mind
In the beginning of my NVC experience When I started learning NVC, I was very passionate. At last, I had discovered a way to communicate where connection and the needs of everyone matter. I could both listen with empathy to what was important to others as well...